On a cross-country vacation with their parents, twins Coke and Pepsi, soon to be thirteen, fend off strange assassins as they try to come to terms with their being part of a top-secret government organization known as The Genius Files.

A.J.'s class is going head-to-head against Dirk School in a charity softball game. The losing team must clean the winning school's toilet with a toothbrush! Mr. Ott, retired baseball pro, intends to lead Ella Mentry School to victory, but will his weird tactics actually make the team lose?

Once the twins get their feet back on the ground, they embark on the final leg of their trip, which will take them from the Hoover Dam all the way to the Golden Gate Bridge. Chased by nefarious villains, the twins will be trapped with a venomous snake, pushed through a deadly turbine, and thrown into a volcano. And craziest of all, their parents might finally believe them!

"Coke and Pepsi McDonald continue on their dangerous cross-county road trip, stopping at strange-but-real destinations in the South and facing such perils as an evil Elvis impersonator, a vat of acidic soda, and a giant recycling shredder"--

Mr. Macky dresses up as Abraham Lincoln to get the students at Ella Mentry School excited about their Presidents' Day oral reports

"Alexia's mom, Ms. Sue, leads the kids of Ella Mentry School in the weirdest fundraiser in the history of the world!"--

The new music teacher must try to teach A.J. and the rest of his class to play well enough during their recital to impress crabby Dr. Carbles.

"After noticing that A.J. and his friends' geography knowledge could use some work, Mr. Cooper invites to class just the person to help. Globetrotter Mrs. Barr speaks seven languages and has visited nearly two hundred countries! But why does she carry a suitcase everywhere she goes? And why does she open a window whenever she walks into a room? Perhaps Mrs. Barr has something to hide"--Provided by publisher.

Getting a chance to choose a guest speaker at their third grade graduation, A.J. and his classmates have their minds set on the most popular singer and rapper in the world, Lil Mouse, to have the greatest graduation in the history of graduations.

A.J. is planning a big birthday to celebrate turning 9 and his parents even hire a party planner named Mr. Marty. Mr. Marty orders some weird stuff to celebrate though.